There’s something to be said about finding a purpose in life. A developing mind helps mold an identity as growth and maturity are established at a young age. For many, it takes once in their life to understand what they’ve been called to do. But for professional athletes, the twists and turns on what can be a lonely and winding highway, things can be very different while trying to find the right off-ramp in life. Reidentifying in society can be difficult, as they find themselves having to find a purpose for a second time.
Vernon Fox spent 18 years on the football field: from youth leagues to high school, to being a national scholar-athlete at Fresno State, to playing for four teams in the NFL.
Unexpectedly, in what would have been his eighth season as a professional football player, Fox was released by the Denver Broncos during the final cuts of the preseason in 2009.
He subsequently worked out for roughly 10 more teams as the regular season progressed, none of which called him back. But after Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts beat the Broncos in Week 14, then-defensive coordinator Mike Nolan called Fox and asked if he was in shape and ready to meet the team back in Denver.
Fox was on a plane the same night and eventually finished the season playing with the Broncos in their final three games.
Invited to sign the next season, Fox knew there were stipulations involved and that he was being asked to come aboard because of an injury to another Bronco. Meaning, that when a younger player became healthy, Fox was expendable.
“It just felt like a better decision to go back into free agency, take my chances,” Fox said. “I never lacked the attention of other organizations, so I felt like it’d be easy for me to find a home.”
Fox never strapped on an NFL helmet again.
“When you do something for as long as I did that, you’re talking 18 years, I played the game of football every single year – it became a part of who I was,” Fox said. “And so that was very tough because I was trying to find my identity again outside of the game.”
Fox, as he put it, made the mistake of defining his value and who he was based upon what he did for a living on the field, rather than the man he was off the field.
“All of my identity was wrapped up in that jersey number, the name on the back of my jersey, and the logo on my chest,” he said. “So, it was tough. You try to think that it’ll work out and at some point, you realize it’s time to consider transitioning. And that was a difficult time for me.”
Difficult, because he continued to work out and train in time for spring OTAs (organized team activities), and during the summer leading up to training camp, and again through preseason.
He finally realized that it was over, despite it not being his decision and the mental trauma took time to heal. Fox would go to schools to speak to kids, and with raw emotion still flowing while fresh out of the game, he’d pause briefly after a student asked him why he retired.
“It struck a nerve,” he said. “Because in my mind, I didn’t retire. I got retired. I was in a dark space, went through depression. It took time to grieve that and to realize it was something that was a huge part of me that was no longer there and unexpectedly disappeared. It was not easy.”
His Own Terms
Fox said there were always two major areas he felt conflicted about and frustrated with his career: one being he was never drafted, and the other was he didn’t feel he left the sport on his terms.
“I had a very successful college career and projections to be drafted, and that didn’t happen,” Fox said. “I had to deal with the rejection that came with that. And because of that, it just damaged me, I didn’t have the same self-value, because I looked at myself like I wasn’t good enough because that was the first time I wasn’t good enough, at least in the eyes of people.
“From a mental health perspective, trauma damages you in ways that you don’t always know until things kind of rise up.”
Despite not being drafted, Fox proved he belonged in the NFL, surviving the final cuts of his rookie season and lasting seven more years.
But the deep-rooted sting of rejection remains – from both not being drafted and essentially being forced from his career – as it takes him back to a time when people made him feel expendable, that he didn’t matter or that his value wasn’t what he believed it to be.
The transitional point he didn’t realize was coming, a vessel he firmly believes God sent his way, was in the form of high school coaching. Faith Lutheran had more than 60 applicants across 13 states looking to take over as head football coach, and the administration sought out Fox.
“I took some time. I actually was looking for reasons to say no, because I didn’t want to do it,” he admitted. But, he added, “it was just abundantly clear that’s what I should be doing and what I was being called to. After saying yes, I realized this is great. The thing I missed the most at that point was not being in the locker room, feeling part of a team. And it made me feel like that again.”
The Faith Lutheran Crusaders won the state championship in Fox’s first season as coach and became a perennial powerhouse.
More importantly, though, it allowed Fox to build and pour into the lives of young people something that had treated him well and helped him as a person. In addition, he was at a Christian school, which meant he didn’t have to reduce that part of himself.
He could build a program, and mentor young men in a way that not only helped them on the football field but also helped them in their spiritual development and character.
He also sees, years later, how coaching helped him evolve as a person, as he removed himself from the sport on his terms and more recently opened the doors of Salt Church International with his wife, Tai.
“Now, I’m understanding more and more why God called me into coaching for seven years when that wasn’t my plan,” Fox said. “He was teaching me how to shepherd and care for those that he entrusted under my care and watch. I learned a bunch of leadership skills and dealing with people and how to apply the gospel to the lives of people through grace and love and representation of the kingdom.
“And that’s what I’m doing now. I’m still having opportunities to exercise influence. The fact that I played in the NFL for eight years opens a lot of doors for me. It gets me in a lot of rooms. And that’s been a blessing for me and prayerfully for the people that I’ve been able to connect with as well.”
Serving a Purpose
Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) legend Forrest Griffin never experienced an identity crisis after multiple injuries eventually led him into retirement.
Considering there is rarely an off-season for fighters, and the training and conditioning is in constant flow, he found it easier to leave his work at the office. Training, sparring, conditioning and film study were all done behind closed doors and away from home.
He would watch fights at home, but for fun, or to get amped up in the morning.
While some people watch motivational videos to get their day started with a cup of coffee, Griffin might be watching arm bars and rear-naked chokeholds for inspiration.
But nothing more.
“When I’m in the gym, I walk into the gym, I walk through the door, I’m a fighter – this is what I do, this is my life, this is everything,” Griffin said. “But when I get home, I walked through the door I tried to transition into being me, a father, a husband, etc.”
It helped him avoid becoming burnt out from what he did for a living while maintaining the passion he had for the sport.
Instead, what Griffin struggled with momentarily – six months according to him – was re-establishing his purpose in life.
He searched for options, attending stuntman school and auditioning for acting roles, or even doing some announcing. The process was grueling, as he’d known for so long what his purpose was – making life painful for others inside an octagon – and now it was time to find a new one.
Much like Fox, the former UFC light heavyweight champion established himself as a mentor to others.
“What the hell am I doing now? I don’t have a purpose,” Griffin often thought, he said. “And then I found my purpose in giving back to other fighters and helping and trying to grow the brand of the UFC and the sport of mixed martial arts (MMA).
“The sport of MMA gave me a lot of great things and definitely changed my life for the better. So now I want to bring the sport of MMA to as many people as possible.”
Shortly after his last knee injury healed, Griffin said he just started showing up at work, having a presence at the UFC Performance Institute and would sit in on meetings.
“I just kept showing up, nobody really knew what to do with me,” Griffin said. “If you’re in enough meetings people are gonna start giving you tasks.”
Suddenly he found himself with plenty of work to do, tasked with working alongside fighters, mentoring or guiding them. He began corporate social responsibilities and athlete development obligations.
Once again, Griffin’s day-to-day life was in and around MMA. Being able to stay affiliated with UFC, and involving himself with the Performance Institute has been one of the most satisfying things for Griffin, as there’s a sense of pride in helping to provide services to the future athletes of the sport. He’s also involved himself in Dana White’s latest venture, Powerslap, serving as a catcher during the electrifying events.
“Blessed is the only word to describe it,” Griffin said. “About a year in is when I really started to find the passion for the sport again.”
Helping Others
While Fox and Griffin have transitioned their lives from their professional playing surfaces, businessman Kevin Columbus has been directing his energies toward young athletes since 1995.
Columbus owns the Forum Group, which per its website “creates growth opportunities in areas of strategic interest through ownership and acquisitions by leveraging the collective thought leadership of our partners and advisors across various industries.”
But for him, on his own accord, Columbus and his representatives have taken the initiative to work with younger athletes at the front end of their careers, preparing them for finality from a financial aspect when it comes time to retire.
“We have a conversation with them as if they’re never going to get another opportunity or another check,” Columbus said. “We try to help them plan from the beginning, what the end looks like. So, we’re almost predicting the end.”
Columbus said some follow suit, while many others do not. Many times, it’s because they have friends or family members, a lot of people who approach them with different ideas for investments, but most times for their benefit.
In Columbus’ experience, he tried to be the gatekeeper for those athletes, vetting every opportunity, hoping to steer them away from inconsistencies in areas he knew wouldn’t serve them well and could be detrimental once retirement came around.
Columbus said one of the most frustrating things about the new generation of athletes is that they don’t seem to be paying attention to what they were taught.
“A lot of them feel like they’re invincible, or ‘it’s not gonna happen to me,’ or ‘I’m gonna keep making this money,'” Columbus said. “If more percentage of the guys paid attention, they wouldn’t be in some of the situations that they’re in.”
One area he wishes the younger generation of athletes would take seriously is paying better attention to internships in fields other than sports, once they had interests or were suggested.
“Some guys are like, ‘I’m a multimillionaire, why do I need to do that?'” Columbus said. “Then there’s other guys that are multimillionaires that have done that, and they’ve had successful business careers. It disappoints me when they limit their options because they think they have it all figured out because they got a little money.”
Columbus said a blessing and a curse with professional sports right now is that money is guaranteed.
“There’s too much entitlement,” he said.
Nevertheless, in managing young athletes’ direction, Columbus has felt a sense of gratification.
“Being able to help people and watch them grow, because my purpose is to help people,” Columbus said. “So, if I can do that, if I can help one person, then I’m successful. If I can help 10 people, then it’s successful. I’ve been fortunate to be able to help a lot of people.”
Helping others, a common denominator all three men have found to be productive when it comes to a post-career journey.
“I found that my sweet spot is serving people and helping people grow, helping people be better than what they were before,” Fox said. “And I get to do that in everything I do. Whether I’m writing books or mentoring, or I’m life coaching, or I’m preaching or I’m speaking, in every capacity, I’m using those moments.”
